Mary Sue Chronicles
by JonDosh
Summary: Where I ridicule the ridiculous. A collection of oneshots and ficlets in response to the many Mary Sues and Gary Stus fanon has spawned.


**Mary Sue Chronicles  
**_By_** JonDosh**

**Mary Sue Riddle**

Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters, locations, and plot points are the property of J. K. Rowling. The idea (vaguely) refers to Austin Powers, so I guess that can go here too. Anyhow, I'm borrowing them to kill a Mary Sue.

A/N: After spending countless hours sharpening my Limited Edition Monty Python Titanium Spork on LiveJournal's deleterius, I've decided to finally bring you a set of Mary Sues, all of whom will be either shredded apart, maimed, or just simply killed for the reader's enjoyment. Or, if I feel like a change of pace, I'll just explain how they came to be, and such (which is, incidentally, what we have here today). This idea was spurred by a part of Austin Powers, but I shan't say more. This addresses the famous Mary Sue Riddle, daughter of Lord Voldemort, and a few others that I won't give away.

Can we say, "Goodbye, Mary Sue?"

--

The Dark Lord sat in his throne-like chair, dreading the impending meeting. This would be the first assembly with the remainder of his Death Eaters since the Potter fiasco in June, when he had regained his body. A whole month had since passed, and he was determined to have everything go as planned. There would be no unexpected outbursts of unforeseen news; schedules would be drawn up, agendas would be filled, and ultimate success would be reached within months.

Sighing impatiently, he summoned Wormtail, harshly digging his forefinger into the sensitive flesh of the Dark Mark. Before long, the distant sound of loud cracks began filling the night air, as each of his followers Apparated to his current place of residence.

"Good evening, my faithful friends," he welcomed them, his cold voice piercing the still air. "Tonight, we must set vital plans in motion. Now Lucius, I believe you have brought some news for me?"

Lucius Malfoy shifted uncomfortably. "My Lord, about that..." Voldemort narrowed his eyes, his fingers tightening their hold on his wand. "What I mean, my Lord, is that the results were slightly unexpected."

"The results of what, might I ask?" Voldemort hissed.

"Lucius blinked, suddenly looking very worried. He shot Wormtail a look before saying, "The rat had said that he told you, my Lord."

Wormtail blanched visibly and sweat started beading at his temples. "Oh Master, you wouldn't believe –"

Voldemort kicked him from where he was kissing the hem of his robes before casting the Cruciatus at the hindrance that was Peter Pettigrew. As the man's screams subsided, he looked at his followers expectantly. Lucius nervously cleared his throat. "Thirteen years ago, when... _it_ occurred, we didn't know if you would be returning. After a couple years, we started getting frantic, until Bellatrix remembered the object you had entrusted her with. Many experiments later, we knew how to use a Horcrux to create a child. Bella was predictably willing to carry it. Your heir was born shortly before she got herself imprisoned."

Shock was evident on Voldemort's face, as he processed what he had just heard. "I have an heir?" he asked softly.

"Yes... after a fashion," Lucius replied hesitantly.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes. "Lucius, do not make me waste your pure blood. What are you not telling me?"

"It isn't a male heir, my Lord," he said resignedly. He was aware of absolute silence from the other Death Eaters present; he couldn't even hear the rustle of fabric as a cool breeze wound its way through the courtyard. He knew, however, that the congregation collectively flinched as their Lord turned his burning gaze on them.

"Dismissed. The rest of this meeting will be taken up at a later date. Oh, and Bella dear, _Crucio_."

Lucius remained standing, knowing he was intended to stay. At a single look from Voldemort, he proceeded to explain everything, or at least as much as he could.

"Eleven years ago, when your daughter was born, it was decided that she would reside in Malfoy Manor under the care of Narcissa and myself, as a sister to Draco. We raised her as our own daughter, although she has always known that she is not of our blood. Regardless, she and Draco have become inseparable, and they share a bond like none I've seen before."

Voldemort nodded. "I am pleased to hear that she was raised with consideration. However, what intrigues me is how anyone was aware that the cup was a Horcrux. I was very careful with guarding that information."

Lucius shifted minutely, slightly unnerved by the uncharacteristic calm that surrounded his master. "My Lord, Avery was, though loyal, incredibly curious in your schooldays. He said something about overhearing a conversation…"

Voldemort's eyes flashed dangerously, as he started tapping his wand with a skeletal finger. "And this child is female. Well, what else could this complication be?"

Lucius shifted again, his nostrils flaring. "She is seeing Harry Potter."

--

A/N: Shorter than what I like, and I admit it turned out a lot different than I anticipated. However, I hope you enjoyed it despite that. Read & Review!


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